I’m a Bit of a Turkey Myself

The following program is intended for a mature audience. It contains course language, nudity and scenes that may be offensive to some, much like real life…….

Such is the introduction to a variety of TV shows – and perhaps may be pertinent to this blog.

I mentioned last time about a wild turkey appearing out of nowhere a week ago and settling in, quite uninvited, to live with us. I named him Bob and some asked for a sequel; perhaps not quite like this.

Bob grew bolder and noisier as the days went by and was actually quite endearing, even attractive in a twisted turkey kind of way. One day I’d asked a guy to come around and give a quote for topping some dead cedars on the property. Later I received a phone call: “Hi John, I’m at the top of your drive, wondering about the turkey?”

I laughed, “Don’t worry about him, he’s recently appeared and is quite harmless.” A big logging guy who climbs to three hundred feet in trees is nervous of a turkey?

We had mixed feelings when we noticed Bob had spread his wings and ‘flown the coop’ yesterday. Until later, working in the garden, he was observed preening himself in front of the neighbor’s window…. vanity of vanity!

Bob left without even saying goodbye,” I lamented. “Oh well, his absence has some benefits.”

This is where we enter x-rated material as I share a dirty little secret. Bob is a beautiful bird, walks around with attitude, even keeps guard. But wherever he walks, wherever he feeds, wherever he sits – he shits (sorry to offend, I know, it stinks and shouldn’t even be mentioned. But it’s a fact!). How do you know where Bob has been? Shit. It’s on the patio, on the lawn, around the driveway, on the steps. It’s like he never stops.

I can’t go out and confront him. “Bob, you’re welcome to, stay, but for God’s sake stop shitting!”

What’s his response? “Well fry me up, cut my throat, have me for dinner. But as long as I’m alive that’s what I do. You want me to shit in only one place? I’d never leave square one. I’m just doing what turkey’s were born to do.”

Conclusion. Welcome the turkey and accept the shit. As long as he’s strutting his stuff around the place we’re gonna have to hose down the pathways, the steps, the driveway – a lot.

Which is why we had mixed feelings when he left. No more clean up. But we’ll miss him.

Until this morning with a peck on the wall and a gobbledy-gurgle Bob announced his return. Get out the hose.

Here’s the thing….. I’m reflecting on this situation and God whispers, “Welcome to my world. There’s a pile of shit to deal with, where you’re concerned.”

Someone slaps my hand. “Don’t use that word in front of God! It’s rude!”

There’s the first mistake. God is far less offended by our shit than anyone else. In fact He loves us in the midst of our mess. I wander around gloriously unaware of the trail I leave behind while He hoses down everything I touch, day after day. While I look at my reflection and smile contentedly.

Yes, I hate to admit it, but Bob and I have way too much in common for my liking. Almost more than enough to keep me well and truly humble. In fact the good news is that God revealed Himself in Jesus as one who makes the unclean, clean. While we deny, or try and pretend we don’t shit (which means death by constipation – clean surroundings but no life in you), Jesus showed another way. All shit and fall short of the glory of God.

I know this sounds blasphemous and offensive but it’s not intended that way. It’s a poke of fun at our uptight ways and a celebration of God’s amazing grace. The difference between a Christian and one who does not know Jesus yet, isn’t the absence of shit. It’s that the Christian is aware of the mess made in life and owns their shit. Yes, every day. And as we acknowledge and own how we fall short the mess is cleaned up so others don’t have to step in it. Grace, forgiveness, healing, renewal, redemption, hope, and unconditional love.

It took a rooster crowing three times to reveal to Peter his total inability to face suffering alongside Jesus at His crucifixion. And a turkey reminds me of God the Father’s love of life, humor, and willingness to put up with me and my messy ways. Long ago in Proverbs 4:4 it says that where there are no oxen the crib (or stable) is clean. In other words everything is tidy, and no clean up required, but……

I’ve glanced out my window and there’s Bob, gobbling down another meal with relish in the rain. Which means something else is not far behind (pun intended).

Some takeaways around our relationship with a loving Father – using more dignified language.

All of us leave a trail of mess behind us – every day. Humility begins with self-awareness. Acknowledge, embrace, and accept the inevitability of our manifest weakness and thank God for His love, grace, and cleansing power through Jesus. Every day, all the time, everywhere, as often as required.

Let’s spend more time embracing the muddled realities of our own journeys than focusing on the mess made by those around us.

Don’t choose constipation as a proud and clean alternative to running free and being adventurous. God’s invitation is for us to follow Him, as we are. And even as we do that, some things will never change this side of heaven. No shit 🙂

A song for all my fellow turkeys. Flap your wings and rejoice!

John Cox

Christian Author


  • John, many thanks for your two Bob stories. They are hilarious and should “loosen” us up(pun intended”!

  • So absolutely true and real,THANKYOU John…and so perfectly narrated

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